The Bitter and the Sweet

This little guy is one of the sweetest blessings in my life. He is such a good baby and has made each day he has been alive such a joy. He has truly changed my life and has made me such a better person.

This on the other hand has been such a literal "pain in the butt". We got home from the hospital on Friday, and on Saturday I started feeling like I pulled a muscle in my rear end. By Monday I couldn't walk and was constantly in tears because of the pain. We struggled with what to do about it, and tried to self diagnose on the internet. On Tuesday we decided that I needed to go see a doctor, so to the Urgent Care we went. When the doctor asked me how I was doing, I immediately burst into tears. A combination of the worst pain I have ever felt and the inabilty to really be a mother to my newborn made for an extremely hard time holding back the waterworks. She prescribed me some pain medicine, which did absolutely nothing. I was so frustrated that the medicine didn't even touch the pain.

Wednesday we called my doctor who got us right in. When the exam left him baffled he sent us over to the hospital for an MRI. So for Gavin's one week birthday we spent most of the day back at the hospital, but thankfully it was for me and not for him. After the most painful MRI ever (I actually yelled at the technician when she moved me too fast) we waited for the results. The next day the doc called and told Taylor the prognosis. I had pulled my Iliacus muscle off the bone. Finally I knew what was wrong. We were glad it was not Siatica or a blood clot, but I was still in a LOT of pain. Stronger pain meds and possible physical therapy should help it heal within a few months. I thought earlier on this week I was improving. I could walk without help. I could lift my leg to get into the shower, and I even stood long enough to blow dry my hair. But the past few days I have seemed to regress. The tears continue to flow on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, due to a combination of sheer exhaustion, excruciating pain, and complete frustration. I will no longer take for granted the ablity to bend over to pick up my baby, to respond to his crying, to get up in the middle of the night to change a diaper, to simply make myself a meal. Thanks to all those who have helped us out these last 2 1/2 weeks. Thanks to our ward members who have brought us meals. I know that this too will pass, but as for now it seems like it's going to take forever. Prayers are appreciated!
This wouldn't be complete without a shout out to my wonderful husband who has taken on most of the nighttime feedings and diaper changes due to the fact that it literally takes me 10 minutes to get out of bed. Gavin loves the time with his daddy, and I am one lucky girl to have him be his daddy.